This is the first question that I asked my friend Marcus who is a good friend and in a way my pastor. He shared with me a devotional that that said to control what you can control and let the rest go. I wonder if this is what God meant when he said that He would provide but in in a different way. Later that summer I had an opportunity to hear a pastor that I have set under before Ken Baugh give a talk on Joy in Suffering.
I won’t say that these days have been easy. I also cling to two verses.
“For I know the plans I have for you, ‘says the Lord. “They are plans for good and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope.”
“The Lord is my shepherd: I have everything I need. He lets me rest in green meadows; he leads me beside peaceful streams. He renews my strength, He guides me along right paths; bringing honor to his name. Even when I walk through the valley of death, I will not be afraid, for you are close beside me. Your rod and your staff protect and comfort me. You prepare a feast for me in the presence of my enemies. You welcome me as a guest, anointing my head with oil. My cup overflows with blessings. Surely your goodness and unfailing love will pursue me all the days of my life, and I will live in the house of the Lord forever.”
Clinging to God’s word is important to me because it is his plan. I can only take things day by day. I also felt him speak to me that he has a plan for survival. I cannot give you a step by step list of what this means. Many of my close friends would tell you that I am a planner and would like to know what this specifically entails. I am trying to have faith and learn to trust through this most difficult period of my life. I have my doubts as well but know that god is faithful. He is working a process within me that will help others.